Happy Birthday
by emi-chan74
Summary: Sakura's alone in a bar crying her eyes out and the only one to notice is Jiraiya. What happens when he learns whats hurting her and decides to use her as his next muse? SakuraXJiraiya, KakashiXsakura. M one-shot. please review


**Happy Birthday**

** I promise it's Kakashi X Sakura, not a typo. Just read it all the way through and you will see. I promise! I hope you enjoy it and I did rate it M but there is no lemon, just very detailed descriptions of arousal. Therefore, sorry if anyone is offended. I am very grateful that you are reading this and would be even more appreciative if you were to review. Love and god bless.**

_Junko sat in the bar, nursing a single gin and tonic in his hands just as he been for the last three hours. It had only been a few days since his last lover, a beautiful busty blonde who never failed to orgasm, but already he wanted more. A new lover, with spunk, not one of these more mild girls he had been dating for the last few months. Sure these civilian girls were fun, they didn't have the same worries as kunoichi, but the sight of a kunoichi's well trained and powerful body arched backwards in ecstasy was one of the greatest things Junko had seen in his many adventures. To see their muscular, but thin and sinewy forms contort themselves in pleasure that he caused, well to Junko it was like a form of heaven. It had been months since he had been with a Kunoichi, far too long, and now he finally had the chance to again. For the first time in years, Junko had returned to his home village, after his many away missions._

_ His dark eyes scanned the perimeter of the bar from his stool. There were many people here, but few kunoichi. Even now, when being a kunoichi was not looked down upon, now that they were considered true shinobi and not just a body used to seduce enemies, few girls still wanted to be kunoichi. Even fewer parents wanted their daughters to take that path, for many people it was hard enough seeing their sons go off to war but their daughter was too much. There were three kunoichi in the line of Junko's vision. A tall blonde girl, curvy, busty and beautiful, every time she laughed or went to get drinks from her table every man in the room would turn to watch her ass and boobs. But Junko doubted he would be able to get her in his bed tonight, first of all she was with a group, a group of young handsome guys, and from her body language she was already throwing herself at some dark-haired boy with a set of drawing pads in front of him. On the other side of the dark haired boy, in the blonde's group, was a small dark haired girl with pale iris that looked like a geisha, but she was sitting on the lap of a blond boy who looked at her with a burning admiration. The girl obviously was overjoyed to be in her spot, and Junko realized that group was not going to fold for his tricks. On the other side of the bar counter was an older kunoichi with short purple hair, but Junko knew her and did not want anything to do with her, there were some things that even he wanted to part of. Anyway, the Junko had never like snakes, and if the rumors he had heard of the woman proved to be true, then odds are sex in snake pit would not be a good memory as for him, that was just kinky in the worst ways._

_ Sighing Junko bowed his head, maybe the next bar would be more promising. He started to turn on his stool when he heard a sigh, a beautiful feminine sigh. Not leaving his seat, Junko looked into the corner from which the sigh erupted and saw there a beautiful and exotically pink haired kunoichi wearing only a thin red tank top and skintight mini black shorts that accented every curve of her well toned thighs and showed the perfect shape of her ass._

Haruno Sakura.

Jiraiya looked up from his writing pad, and the beginnings of his newest book, the fifth of the series. It had only been days since he had submitted his last book, the fourth book in the series and would be released to the general public in a year, to the publishing house. Nevertheless, Jiraiya was not going to lose anytime, and decided to start his next tonight. On one of the rare times he came back to visit the village and his apprentice Jiraiya had been surprised to see the differences in the city since his biggest fan had been anointed as the Seventh Lord Hokage. He had rebuilt the city fast and even though the city still seemed the same on the outside, the buildings had been retrofitted to be both more modern and secure. It helped a lot in the winter when he came to find that his favorite hotel (complete with private co-ed hot spring) now had heating the rooms. Jiraiya's eyes flashed back to the group behind him, Ino had grown up a lot, in ways that Jiraiya appreciated, but his writing did not come from fantasy. It came from real life. Even though Ino seemed like a party girl, going after a girl already in with a large group of guys (especially if they were as good looking as her companions) surrounding her, when she was already throwing herself at one in particular, well the chances of getting laid by the blonde angel shrunk to zero. And his apprentice would probably go sage mode on him if he made moves the Hyuuga heiress, and odds are, his future wife. And Anko, well, there was no need to elaborate on why he wouldn't jump in bed with the reptile wielding kunoichi with her amethyst locks.

He needed new material, and tonight it looked like the feisty apprentice of his late teammate would be the best muse he would be able to get. Not to say that she was not good looking, Jiraiya thought to himself. Her pink hair always turned heads and in the eight years since the Pein attack, it had grown; now it swayed down near her hips and bounced behind her in a show of feminity that even most civilians could match. Years of taijutsu work with Naruto had helped too, as her long shapely legs came into view from underneath the counter, and there was no doubting that she, unlike Shizune, did take after her shishou in the breast department. No she wasn't that big but for most kunoichi, years of hard work made it hard to gain upper assets but that hadn't taken its toll on little Sakura it seemed. Combined with a still angelically innocent face at age twenty-three, well Sakura was one of the most beautiful girls in the village by any sane man's standards, and from the look on her face, it was easy to see that it was a man who had gotten her to cry like this. The only thing that surprised Jiraiya is that none of her colleagues, not even Naruto and Sai – her teammates – or Ino – her supposedly back to being her best friend – had even realized her despair.

Jiraiya scooted his stool closer to the young beauty and whispered just loud enough for her to hear, "What's wrong Sakura? No one as beautiful as you should ever be made to cry like this." And, nearly giving him a heart attack, Sakura looked up with pouty lips and bottle green eyes made large and shining from her tears. 'You're getting old man,' Jiraiya thought, 'for such an innocent look to make you react like that.'

_Sitting on the other side of the bar counter…_

Ino looked up from her drink briefly, looking over at the old Ero-Sannin. He was already making a move on Sakura who was easily sending out the fake tears. She always had been a good actress, which was why she was actually better at seduction missions than Ino. Her kisses and flirtations were always more convincing than Ino's, because Sakura could more easily pretend that her lover was the one she was screwing for work than Ino could because at the moment she had no true lover. She still held a flame for the missing Uchiha, unlike Sakura who had found love in a new home, but Ino didn't have any trusting intimacy with anyone now. Of course if Sai ever figured out women that would soon change. Sakura's skill in seduction missions led her to believe that fake crying would be the best way to approach this. She even had some fake sob story about her lover to go with the phony tears. How did Ino know the tears were fake? That was the plan the whole time. There was no way Sakura would ever let that pervert anywhere near her. Or even more seriously there was no that she, Naruto, Sai, or the other members of their group like Kiba and Chouji (both of who had crushes on the pink haired Kunoichi since their academy days apparently) would let the Ero-Sannin anywhere near her when she was in this state if it were real. Of course, if this was real, Ino knew she'd be right at Sakura's side. Was this really going to work? Jiraiya already looked very intrigued by Sakura's tears, but this was risky. Playing around with a man like Jiraiya could end very, very, very badly. Ino shook her head, was this guy really worth it? Sakura may not have thought she was pretty, but whenever she entered the room, heads turned, and even though Ino would never say it aloud, more men talked about Sakura then they spoke of her. Sakura better had known what she was doing; trying to seduce Jiraiya was like playing with fire. It was only too easy to get burned. Sakura's pervert of a lover had better realize how much she cared for him.

_Inching ever closer to Sakura was Jiraiya…_

The small, but in every way a perfect example of what a woman should look like in Jiraiya's opinion (a large chest, a small waist and good hips, the more curvaceous the better) bubble gum haired kunoichi sniffled a little. She slowly swept her hand across her cheek, moving a stray strand of hair from her face to behind her ear. Her hand was so delicate, long fragile fingers that were thin and controlled from years of performing complex surgeries that required the utmost precision. But despite the obvious softness of her skin (that if the rest of her body was like that then Jiraiya knew that there was no way she would get out of his bed tonight) her knuckles were scarred from years of hard work. The small abrasions in her skin were light, only a slight bit pinker, almost the same color as her hair, than the soft pale peach of her natural skin color. Everything about this young girl reminded Jiraiya of what she was. Despite her feminine beauty and grace, she was still a kunoichi and her body showed it, in the gentle scars that crisscrossed her arms, or the well toned muscles of her body. Jiraiya knew that he had to approach this slowly, or else he'd end up with his body a mangled corpse; Sakura was known to be like a clone of her mentor. If judging only on their personalities, Sakura and Tsunade's similarities could be easily considered identical to Rock Lee and Gai's; luckily, their very different appearances proved that wasn't true. But unlike Tsunade, Sakura had a softer side. Not that Tsunade didn't, but Sakura showed hers whereas Tsunade once showed her affection to him at any time. No matter how many times Jiraiya had attempted to initiate something between them she would shot him down in the most heartless way possible. Here was Sakura, though, sitting in a public bar, just pouring her heart out to everyone in the vicinity though her tears, even him, Jiraiya the biggest pervert in Konoha. Sakura had so much more to give than her late mentor, but thinking of Tsunade evoked images in his mind of her beauty and gorgeousness that always made Jiraiya's heart beat faster. She would always hold his heart in his hands, even now after death, but Jiraiya banished thoughts of her from her mind. Tonight was about Sakura, her beautiful crimson haired apprentice. "Tell me what's wrong Sakura, please. There's no reason such a stunning angel like yourself should ever be weeping like this."

"It's just that, well it's this guy," Sakura said in between a few snivels. Just articulating the fact that it was a man who was causing Sakura these sobs, reassured Jiraiya. He wasn't getting old, he knew it had been a man, and there were few ways that a girl like Sakura would cry unless something was breaking her heart. But as Sakura uttered these words, a few more tears trickled from her jade orbs and Jiraiya softly wiped them away. Reacting to his tender touch, Sakura looked up at Jiraiya and graced him an exquisite smile that brightened Jiraiya's ambitions. This would be easier than he had expected. Seemingly comforted Sakura swallowed her sobs and continued, "Well he's older than me and he's done, well more, a veteran you could say." A gentle blush crossed her face, "And he wants to take it to the next level."

Jiraiya nodded, "And you're not ready to make that sort of commitment yet or you're afraid of the pain." 'Shit,' he thought to himself. 'Well this is a waste of time. If she's afraid of sleeping with her boyfriend then there's no way she'll sleep with me.' There was a mild amount of surprise to this though, if it was the sting of the first time that made her apprehensive. It was palpable that Sakura was gorgeous; a man could easily put her on a pedestal as a clear example of a woman. How had no man managed to get her in bed yet? She was twenty-three, and from what he had heard his apprentice, one of the most talked about girls in the village. She probably had lines of suitors trying to pop her cherry. Coming to that conclusion Jiraiya's determination was ignited again. If Haruno was still a virgin he would have to be the first to have her; she was a prize.

Sakura shook her head furiously, "No it's not like that. I have slept with people before and I do want that intimacy between us, but he has been with a lot of women. We have even gotten close to, well, it, and every time we do, he can do things to me. Things I did not even think possible, even just through kisses. It's just that he never reacts the same way I do and with everything he knows how to do I don't think that I could well…" The kunoichi trailed off. It astounded Jiraiya; he had seen Sakura fighting on the battleground. She was fearless, strong, powerful and confident but here, talking about a man she obviously had feelings for; she was so unsure, and so afraid that she could not pleasure him. It was absurd to see how affairs of the heart – and in this case, the body – could make someone normally so confident and clear-headed so confused and hesitant. But then again, Jiraiya knew how hard it was to care for someone, and not be able to please them, he had spent years of his life trying to impress Tsunade, but he never had stood a chance against Dan.

"Well Sakura if you want to know how to make a man pleasure, my books are a good example of how to." However, as he spoke Sakura started to shake her head.

"Your books were actually my first idea." Sakura said with a sigh, "But my boyfriend's read them all; I found all of your books under his bed. If I do anything from your old books then he'll know that I just took them from your books. I wanted to be original. Even if he hadn't read your books… Well I would still need to practice the tricks before I try to pleasure him. When I was still learning medical jutsu, before I was made head of the medic corps, Tsunade always told me: Theory, Practice, and Application. You need to have the first two to do the third properly."

Jiraiya leaned forward and kissed Sakura square on the lips. He felt her lips crash against hers, so soft and velvety. He flicked his tongue against their pliable membrane and he could taste her cherry lip-gloss. She yielded to his ministrations and opened her lips, unlocking the passageway to her mouth. His tongue swept into her, tasting her and enveloping her. His tongue massaged hers and at first, he felt her stiffen. She was unsure, not quite sure, if she was ready to do this but he crashed down on her with more passion and he felt her reply in turn. Her tongue glided over his and the two didn't part until neither could breathe. Jiraiya looked at her in wonder. Her kiss held passion, more than he had seen in years. Most of his conquests had been nothing more than sex, and in turn that was all that Junko had done in the books. But this next book, the fifth, Jiraiya realized that Sakura's passion and beauty would be the center of his next book, because that kiss alone had meant more to Jiraiya than the sex had for years. It held something that more than the physical intimacy with strangers had; it was so intense that part of Jiraiya didn't even want to sleep with the girl now. If she put this, this much intimacy into just a kiss for her lover than sex could be hazardous to his health, but despite that Jiraiya could already feel his pants becoming tight. "You know Sakura I would be more than happy to help you with the practice."

"That would be great," Sakura said biting her lip nervously, "but I still need a theory to learn." Jiraiya was astounded; he hadn't thought that Sakura would be so ready; he could always teach her stuff as they went along and he proposed the idea to her but she shook her head, "No I need to know what I'm doing before we start. I need to practice bringing him pleasure without being instructed what to do. I need a theory to study first."

Jiraiya was struck with a thought. He jumped off his bar stool, started rummaging through his bag, and extracted the unpublished manuscript of his fourth book. "You can read fast right?" Sakura nodded and he handed the book to her. "This is the fourth book. Nobody has seen it yet except for three people in the publishing house, myself and now you. Its chock full of things that even my biggest fan, Kakashi, hasn't seen or read." "Really?" Sakura asked, a dawning of comprehension and wonder in her eyes and as he nodded a huge smile crossed her face. And then:

_ 'poof'_

She was gone with his book, leaving him staring at a log – fine example of the substitution jutsu as she left the wooden peg in her place. Jiraiya's jaw dropped the floor he'd just been had! Of course, if his publishing company found out it would be even worse, no one had ever seen that book and if Sakura showed it to anyone, he could be in deep trouble. This would be bad for him, but a lot worse for her. Jiraiya stood, time to find the hussy and get his manuscript back.

_Sitting on the other side of the bar counter…_

Ino smiled to herself as Jiraiya handed Sakura the book and when she disappeared, she couldn't hold back the cascade of laughter that flew through her. She watched as Jiraiya stormed out of the establishment, looking for blood. Unfortunately, for the Ero – Sannin Sakura wouldn't be at her own home tonight. Nope her lover was a very lucky man tonight. Speaking of lucky, as Ino took a sip her sake, if Sai kept drawing those pictures of her, he would be getting lucky tonight too.

_Standing on the outside of his apartment door was Kakashi…_

Kakashi fumbled with his key chain in the dark as he tried to find the correct key for his front door. Trying to fit a key into the lock, he realized it was the wrong one and as he scrambled for the next on the ring, he dropped all of his keys. Bending down to retrieve his keys, Kakashi hit his head on the doorknob. Swearing Kakashi retrieved his keys and unlocked the door. Today had not been a good day today. It had been the worst birthday he had ever had and hoped that his entire thirty-seventh year of life wouldn't be this bad. It was bad enough that no matter what people said, he was truly middle aged now and if that wasn't bad enough – his day was just plain horrible.

First he woken up at three a.m. and had been unable to fall asleep again, and although usually that wouldn't dishearten him, it had when he saw the sheets next to him were empty. Under any normal circumstance like this, he would awake his lover through gentle kisses and caresses and then the arduous and passionate escapades would begin, but more than the missing physical intimacy that Kakashi loved so much, he missed not seeing her smile when she first realized she was waking up next to him. He yearned to hear her cries of joy and pleasure as he made her come again and again, and made her scream a mantra of his name. He missed the whispered promises and sweet nothings that the two would share after. Sex with her had always been more than sex to Kakashi; he loved the connection he had with her. He loved her and seeing her absence from her bed, this morning had caused his heart to plummet.

But he still couldn't sleep. Unable to think of anything else to do he had started towards the training grounds. Due to his new job, being the Hokage was not his dream, it was Naruto's, Kakashi had little time to practice and he hadn't trained in nearly a week. The only exercise that he did on a daily basis now was one-fingered pushups every morning – often times with his lover sitting on his back studying one of her medical textbooks while he exerted himself. Kakashi would have preferred to be out in the wilderness, fighting and running, but until Naruto had matured, it would be his job to run and protect his beloved city from a desk. Paper pushing had never burnt a lot of calories and it had only depressed Kakashi to realize that the last seven years at a desk had taken its toll on his once powerful and muscular body. He needed to train more, despite his lover's assurances that he was still powerful. After about an hour of sulking about his body's decline in strength, Kakashi had headed to the memorial stone to confide in his friends. Years ago, he had finally forgiven himself for letting Obito die, but he still spoke and divulged his secret worries and desires to his best friend, his sensei and the girl he loved as a sister. It was like a diary, he could tell them anything and they wouldn't judge, they would only listen and sometimes Kakashi could swear that they agreed with him. It helped him focus and understand his life. After only an hour, far shorter than his usual time with the people he had – and still did – consider his only family, an ANBU operative had come to him. There was some huge scuffle between Sand and Cloud – whom Konohagakure had become allies with after usurping Danzo – and as allies with both it had been decided that they would be needed to mediate the negotiations. Kakashi had then spent the next eight freaking hours listening to the two whines about each other until he got them to shut up and 'kiss & make up' as Shizune would later put it. The ANBU were more truthful, when they said that Kakashi had chidori'd his allies brains out until they reached an agreement. Of course, that was putting it nicely.

After dealing with the diplomat's childish squabbles, he had to do all of the ordinary Hokage paperwork that went with running the village. Since he had spent all day dealing with the politics and idiots who ran them and his assistant had never shown up for work that day, he spent the next several hours working diligently. He wanted to sleep. He was so tired from dealing with these idiots. Hopefully his lover would be back by now; he would have to punish her for not going to work today. With a day like today, it might have been a good day if she had been in his office, or across the street in hospital, working as she was supposed to. She had never shown up at either of her work places, as a medic or his assistant, so he couldn't borrow her for a couple of minutes for a quickie. It had infuriated him all day. Luckily the hours of boring and monotonous paperwork hadn't been too mind numbing or even challenging so he was able to use his genius brains and think of ways to punish her in the back of his mind all day. A few ideas had been especially prevalent in his mind. Maybe having her masturbate for him, it always made her blush and it gave him a hard on so quickly. He could always make her suck him, but that didn't seem dastardly enough, unless he teased her up the point of orgasm again and again first and refused to let her come. Smiling a wolfish grin Kakashi started to take off his sandals as he flicked on the lights to his living room. He could have so much fun with his lover tonight. It wasn't as if she could say no either, he was the birthday boy. As the light bulbs above him flickered on, he saw his lover sitting on his armchair, completely naked and a book on her lap.

She was beautiful. Pale skin marred only by the occasional scar from years of working in the field of battle. Even then, the scars the crisscrossed her soft flesh only served to enhance her body as they emphasized the well toned muscles of body. One scar in particular was his favorite, a single strait scrape that went from her valley between her breasts, straight through her naval and down to the mound of her legs. It seemed like a path the gods's that Kakashi never prayed too had created for him to follow and when he kissed her down the length of what some people would call a disfigurement she was always so warm and so wet when he got to the end of the scar. Her breasts were pert and her rosy buds were already tight he could see, even though it was quite warm in his apartment. As his intelligent eye swept down her body, causing her to blush, he noticed the glistening shine on her thighs. As he surveyed his love, he noted the fact that her legs rubbed gently together, spreading more of the shining liquid. She was already so wet and, he bet, tight. As he scrutinized his astonishingly and unbelievably aroused lover, he saw her blush increase until it was the same color as her long bubble gum pink hair. Her beauty was staggering and he choked out, "Sakura, you-" Suddenly it looked like his 37th birthday was getting a lot better by the second.

She rose slowly and sauntered over to him. With her every step, her hips and breasts bounced, Kakashi could feel his desire growing with every second, and when she got to him she lowered his mask and kissed him, rubbing her body against his. Within seconds, and without ending their kiss, Kakashi had removed his vest, sweatshirt, and pants. He stood with only his boxers and tank top – with attached mask – on. He felt her breasts rub against him; he could feel the stiffness of her nipples through the thin material of his tank top. He cupped her ass in his hand, she brought her leg to his hip, and her wet warmth spilled over his crotch. He could feel her juices covering his boxers already. They broke their kisses for air and Sakura stepped back from him and held out the book to him. He took it from her and to his astonishment he read the title: _Icha Icha Heaven _– the fourth book in Jiraiya's series and wouldn't be available for another year. Kakashi's pupil dilated and he looked up at his lover, and Sakura only smiled and whispered, "Happy Birthday," As Kakashi swept his crimson haired, and emerald eyed lover into another passionate kiss that hinted what was to come for the two lovers that night.

_Sitting on his bed in a hotel room was Jiraiya…_

_Junko awoke from his uneasy sleep. The pink haired vixen, Momoko, his peach blossom had visited him again. She was the one girl who had gotten away. If she had stayed, Junko knew that she would have captured his heart; he would have fallen for her. Odds are he would have married her, loved her for the rest of her life, and she would be the only woman to bear his children. Anytime a woman said she was pregnant with his child, Junko always got rid of it, they were mistakes. But if Momoko were pregnant, he would have done anything to the baby's father. Junko had loved Momoko. They two had met in a bar, but she was the first girl he had been unable to woo into his bed. Instead, she made him take her on dates for a month and for the longest time in his life Junko had gone without physical intimacy in his life. He had been that into her, and it had crushed his heart to learn that she had only been into him for a job. She was an enemy kunoichi, who had been sent to his home village in order to seduce him. She had only been playing one of his town's shinobi; she had never existed in the village as far as the leader knew. Her job had been to kill him, but after the only time they were physically intimate she had begun crying and told him everything. Junko hadn't cared, by that time he was already head – over – heels in love with her. He had held her all night long but in the morning when he woke, she was gone, and left only a note saying that she couldn't bear to hurt him again, and that she loved him._

_ Years of sex with no meaning had taken its toll on Junko. He was getting older; he wanted a legacy – a family – and something more than just drunken, anonymous sex. Junko knew though that the only woman he would want that with was the woman whose passion on their one night together had meant more to him than the years of pleasure. Junko had to find Momoko – his pink haired, jade eyed goddess – no matter what happened he would find her and make her his again._

Jiraiya sat. He was pissed beyond hell, that girl had no idea what she had done to him. In the back of his mind, he had actually cared for the elegant kunoichi in ways he shouldn't have. He hadn't even planned to do anything well kinky to her and he would have blown her mind with pleasure, but no, she had to go and steal his book. Odds are it was just some stupid bet. And hearing the Yamanaka girl laugh at him as he somehow managed to shuffle out of the bar was particularly excruciating. Now he had to deal with this aching erection but it had been good for his books. He had an incredible idea. After scribbling this down, Jiraiya put his pen down. He had spent all night trying to find Tsunade's apprentice to no avail and eventually it had come to him. If he couldn't take his revenge in person, he would do something even worse for a woman. He would make her the star of his new book. Jiraiya already had some preliminary sketches done, and oh, they would piss her off like no tomorrow.

**Told you it really ways Kakashi X Sakura. Um this idea just came to me one day, and it took me forever to write. I did label it as M for mature even though there is no lemon and really, no true lime either, just very detailed descriptions. I apologize if you thought that it should have been rated lower. I actually have the idea for the sequel to this already so if I get enough reviews or people (that means you – in a review format) ask me to I will write it. This is my first time writing this pairing even though it's actually the only the pairing I ever read so please review. Love and God bless. –Emi-chan**


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